I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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