Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize