I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize