Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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