Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize