Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize