Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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