I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize