he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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