I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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