OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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