I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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