I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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