we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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