My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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