bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
two words: eviction party
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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