Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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