Umm I'm too high to move.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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