haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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