Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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