I'm lost and stupid without you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize