She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize