Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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