I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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