Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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(212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0

Replies (7) Good night (2281) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

(613): View more from Ontario

This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

(613): View more from Ontario

Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

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(613): There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared. (613): This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea? (613): Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win. http://tfl.nu/1a5o

Replies (13) Good night (2724) Bad night (415)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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(303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu

Replies (48) Good night (12814) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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(405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6

Replies (25) Good night (6591) Bad night (1567) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

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(727): Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs http://tfl.nu/d5ya

Replies (33) Good night (977) Bad night (6801) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

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(360): Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school http://tfl.nu/4t6a

Replies (10) Good night (2205) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.

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(407): Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas. http://tfl.nu/zp3l

Replies (6) Good night (1653) Bad night (360)
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(905): View more from Ontario

foreskin is a definite game changer

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(905): foreskin is a definite game changer http://tfl.nu/oi5r

Replies (24) Good night (922) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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(516): He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/8pla

Replies (4) Good night (1918) Bad night (361)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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(318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88

Replies (7) Good night (417) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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(616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk

Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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(563): View more from Iowa

As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...

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(563): As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me... http://tfl.nu/pbqy

Replies (6) Good night (2782) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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(940): View more from Texas

Sorry about the flaming shit on your door

(940): View more from Texas

I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text

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(940): Sorry about the flaming shit on your door (940): I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text http://tfl.nu/x4xg

Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (345)
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(817): View more from Texas

I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.

(817): View more from Texas

So yeah he had good weed?

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(817): I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft. (817): So yeah he had good weed? http://tfl.nu/m1w9

Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (340)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.

(440): View more from Ohio

Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.

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(216): Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know. (440): Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl. http://tfl.nu/hazv

Replies (2) Good night (1754) Bad night (153)

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