So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize