Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."

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(404): My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America." http://tfl.nu/2jbp

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(940): View more from Texas

She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.

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(940): She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one. http://tfl.nu/4xsk

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'

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(913): Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered' http://tfl.nu/kmmk

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

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(413): this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest http://tfl.nu/t110

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(770): View more from Georgia

who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!

(404): View more from Georgia

you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.

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(770): who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!! (404): you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship. http://tfl.nu/9p9t

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(631): View more from New York

beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.

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(631): beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner. http://tfl.nu/w2xi

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.

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(508): I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again. http://tfl.nu/jeja

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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(270): Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off? http://tfl.nu/sbu9

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(503): View more from Oregon

We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.

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(503): We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went. http://tfl.nu/bmv3

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You used the best tools you had at your disposal.

(651): View more from Minnesota

Slutty, slutty tools.

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(507): You used the best tools you had at your disposal. (651): Slutty, slutty tools. http://tfl.nu/m6kb

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(315): View more from New York

Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.

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(315): Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back. http://tfl.nu/li4v

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(301): View more from Maryland

I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...

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(301): I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened... http://tfl.nu/z902

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(732): View more from New Jersey

it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...

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(732): it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits... http://tfl.nu/8y9r

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(480): View more from Arizona

I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.

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(480): I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups. http://tfl.nu/acv0

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.

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(570): At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement? (1-570): I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet. http://tfl.nu/p7w6

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