like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize