On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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