I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize