your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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