Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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