First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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