at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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