I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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