did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize