put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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