it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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