I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize