I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
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One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
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Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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