He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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