I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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