My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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