We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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