It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize