I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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