fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize