last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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