I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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