I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Why are your pants in the freezer?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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